We take it for granted and forget that it is one of life's little pleasures ... taking a dump or going for a piss in a toilet, in relative peace and with some good reading material on hand. Having young children I am quickly reminded of the arduous road we all took, the mountain we had to climb when it came to taking a dump in a toilet and not in our pants.

 

For the better part of a year Jess and I have labored in vain to get Sarah to "go potty on the toilet". It seems like such a straight forward concept - pull down your pants, sit, grunt a little, feel the satisfying splash as poop meets water, then finish with a simple little wipe. We could get as far as step 2 with her but the actual process of pushing the piss and shit out was just not happening. So we did what all parents do at one time or another ... we gave up.

 

Truth be told, Sarah developed a slight bout of constipation. Most parents come to a realization early on that they are delivering psychologically crippling blows to their children on a daily basis, but we all hope that some time wth a therapist and some good drugs will help our children realize that it is really their fault and not ours. But no parent likes to think their actions are causing their children to tighten their sphincter like Andy's wallet and we cringe when we see them doubling over in pain because their bowels are enlarged with a pile of crap. So when Sarah stopped crapping in her diaper on her regular schedule we had to put the potty training on hold (she was so regular even the Germans and Swiss were impressed!).

 

Subsequent attempts to lure her into taking a piss on the toilet failed miserably. We tried bribing her with M&Ms, stickers, toys ... hell, we even bought a book that shows Dora taking a dump and even that had no affect! Each time Sarah rebuffed us we became disheartened, convinced that we were going to have to switch her to man diapers and that she would go through life with crap in her pants.

 

Then she started daycare. It is amazing what happens when a child starts interacting regularly with other children - speech improves, the creative centres of the brain are stimulated, and they want to be part of the crowd rather than stand out in it. Sarah awoke last Wednesday and, after some prodding, went for a piss in the toilet. This was huge, monumental, right up there with walking on the moon or the Leafs making the playoffs.

 

Later in the evening Sarah went on the toilet again. Holy shit we officially had a pattern developing. She probably thought we had completely lost our minds because each bowel movement was met with cheering and a little jig across the family room. Over the coming days Sarah used the toilet regularly and was fond of us taking a good long look at her shit while mavelling at its size ... something I have been known to do myself on ocassion.

 

She officially made the move to Dora panties on Monday. We are still required to make a big deal of her dumps but even she now considers a piss to be pretty common place. It only goes to prove that if you do nothing for long enough that things will work out in the end.