It would seem that birthdays are akin to major holidays when a child is involved. During the months of April, May and June the Fraser house becomes cake central with 3 birthday and an anniversary ... and I think Mothers Day is squeezed in there somewhere too. Gearing up for the birthday marathon requires equal parts patience and stamina, not to mention an extra notch or two in the belt after I eat 15 pounds of cake.

 

Brennan turned 1 on June 25th and in the Fraser homestead all birthdays are celebrated with equal parts exuberation and decoration. Lets face it, kids think birthdays are synonomous with balloons, hats, streamers, cake and the all-important presents.

 

Jess and I, having passed the age of majority and with no milestones worth celebrating yearly because the realization has set in that we are marching ceaselessly towards our death (cheery huh?), have since focused our efforts on the kids and play down our own "one year closer to being ashes" yearly remembrance. That is not to say that presents and a cake are not expected but we want to make sure it is done in an understated way.

The season of birthdays kicked off, in a subdued but dignified manner, with Jess' birthday on April 5th. When we married in 2000 I desperately tried to align both her birthday and our anniversary, figuring this would be the perfect way to avoid a screw up ... it stands to reason that one of the two dates would be seared into my memory (smart ass comments have been edited for fear of having to go to a proctologist to get her foot out of my ass). We decided on April 8th because the 5th was a Wednesday and getting married on Wednesday only happens to people who plan using expired calendars or those who rode the short bus to school and haven't grasped the concept of giving people the day off to recuperate from a bender. I rationalized, and still do, that a birthday on April 5th and an anniversary on April 8th are close enough in proximity to allow for the giving of a single gift to cover 2 days of significance ... unknown to me was a little known clause inserted into the constitution that says 2 events separated by more than 1 minute require gifts of equal value and not less than one month's gross household income.

 

Sarah was very excited to see the birthday cake and quickly formed the opinion that every day is someone's birthday. While I agree with this in principle, because everyday someone somewhere is celebrating a birthday, I don't think she was being quite so profound in her thinking. Jess enjoyed the gifts and cake and I inserted my own clause into the Fraser ammendment to the consitution that says any gift greater than $5 in value requires the receiver of said spousal gift to give up the booty! Jess got a gift and I got a present ... worked out well all around!!!!

 

Sarah's birthday was a much bigger event (depending on your point of view). Turrning 3 is a milestone of significance for the parents moreso than the child ... we anxiously anticipated the day when she would go for a dump in the toilet and not in her pants. A party was held and several little girls stormed the house like the beaches of Normandy, not sure why they were being dragged to Casa Fraser but willing to partake in the festivities all the same. While I slaved over the BBQ the kids pulled the chord on a pinata and the parents passed around the bottle of Tylenol ... good times for everyone. Turns out that 3 year old girls are remarkably similar to 30 year old girls, they just want the bobbles, only difference is that the fake plastic jewellry favored by a 3 year old must manifest itself as gold and diamonds when you add a 0 to their age. My conclusion is that there is some secret society dedicated to training and brainwashing young females.

 

To say Sarah got a shitload of presents would be an understatement. If we stacked them in a pile it would probably look like a section of the Great Wall of China had been erected in our living room. She thoughtfully thanked everyone for their presents (not presence but we know the intent was there), and relished the opportunity to eat birthday cake until it started oozing out of her pores.

 

Brennan was the next birthday to celebrate. It was decided that a slightly subdued celebration was in order since we were still recuperating from the previous birthday only a few weeks previous. Truth be told, the decorations just remained up for the entire month and every day we were required to explain to Sarah that there was no cake, hats or presents to enjoy but that we were in a build up mode for Brennan's birthday. While I drew comparisons to the U.S. moving into a staging area in Kuwait before the Iraq war, others in the house put a more positive spin on the events and anxiously anticipated Brennan turning 1.

 

A child's first birthday is always a significant milestone. Brennan was already walking by 1 and getting into so much trouble that we referred to him as our own little Dennis the Menace. The highlight of the day for him was eating some cake, or should I say wearing some cake. Up till that point Brennan had never tasted sugar, so this was a major event for him. While it was obvious that he enjoyed the cake and associated sugar high, it became obvious to me that cleaning up after him for meals was going to require a pressure washer and a bulk order of detergent.

 

The birthday season is now passed but Sarah still likes to sing Happy Birthday for pretty much any ocassion. We don't have the heart to tell her it isn't a birthday because she is so damned cute when she sings, and besides, Brennan is now trained like Pavolv's dog ... when he hears her sing he starts salivating and thinking of the cake to come. It might be cruel to fool him like that but it makes for some entertaining stories.

 

Coming shortly (as in 10 minutes from now because Jess is bitching me out like a rabid hockey parent), the story of the little girl who went potty.