People are having children later in life, and it makes me wonder about the sanity of the general population.

 

While most couples having children are under 30, the over 30 crowd is gaining ground every year. Births among women 30-34 is up by 6%, 35-39 by 4% and women over 40 by 2%. All of these people are having children later in life because they want to minimize the impact on their careers, get themselves on a more stable financial footing, buy a home, etc.

 

Jess and I fall into the over 30 crowd, and we cited the same reasons as everyone else. What we didn't realize until now, is that having kids later in life means that the physical and psychological demands increase at the same time the energy levels begin to fall off.

 

Having one child is demanding, having 2 is a hell of a lot of work. Sarah is over 2, fully mobile and able to do some things on her own. However, she also wants to play a lot more and the demands of keeping up with her are increasing. Brennan is still an infant and requires constant care, so the balancing act is delicate, to put it mildly.

 

So what does this have to do with potty training? Everything. Potty training requires constant supervision, prompting and child management. It increases the demands significantly, but at the same time it isn't like there is a magic pill out there that provides a boost in energy and calms the nerves ... okay, there ARE those types of pills but only with a prescription.

 

We thought that now might be a good time to potty train Sarah. The "experts" (another rant for another day) all say that there are some obvious signs parents should be attuned to - some measure of bladder control, the child mimics parental bathroom behavior, the child can communicate reasonably well and will be able to tell you when they need to go, etc. Sarah possesses all of these, so we thought it might be a good time to give it a try.

 

The same experts alll say that you have to keep the experience positive, don't make a big deal out of accidents and to realize it may take some time. Getting the initial potty training down might take a few days but getting a child fully potty trained i.e. no pull-ups at night, no accidents, etc, might take months.

 

Jess removed the diaper on Monday and talked to Sarah about going pee pee on the potty. Super Nanny suggests frequently asking the child if they have to go, thereby potentially heading off any accidents. Other experts say don't nag. We went with Super Nanny.

 

We would ask Sarah quite frequently if she had to pee. Occasionally this would elicit a "yes", so off we would run to the potty. She would sit there and look around but never went. To her it was all a game - see mommy run, see mommy wait with me, see mommy clean up my pee.

 

A couple days passed and two things became obvious - she was not ready and neither were we. Asking Sarah if she had to go pee was like asking asking a bank employee to explain the fees - you probably won't get an answer and even if you do it probably isn't germane to the conversation. She often wouldn't answer and when she did the answer was no ... at precisely the same moment she is squatting and creating Lake Sarah Pee Pee on the floor. The only success we had came on Monday evening when Jess noticed Sarah squating on the floor and grunting like a sumo wrestler, a sure sign that Mr. Brown Eye is about to make an appearance. Jess ran over and grabbed Sarah, plopping her on the potty before she was able to turn our creamy carpet and interesting shade of brown. Sarah squeezed out a partial loaf and we figured that might be the beginning of the trend. It was not to be, as was evidenced repeatedly on Tuesday. One concern was that she was beginning to become constipated, sure fire evidence that potty training had to be delayed.

 

Now a lot of people will say we shouldn't have given up but those same people probably missed the point of this article. Raising two kids is tiring and they can, with astonishing regularity, kick our asses. Add the colic cries of a 2 month old to the demands of a 2 year old and you have a recipe for short fuses and exhausted days. Sarah was just not ready and we probably pushed a little too early, as parents of two kids tired of changing two sets of diapers are apt to do. 

 

We will try again in a couple of months and see how it goes. Maybe we can rent a Dora the Explorer costume and show her how Dora goes pee on the potty (don't ask).